Before we delve into the weird alleys of this writer’s mind, let us get a reality check. When you read the title of this article, did you not assume that it focuses on romantic associations? If yes, ask yourself, why? When did the idea of a ‘relationships’ narrow down to romantic affairs of two partners?
That is our first confusion. Relationships are more than that, or at least I reckon they are. The bond with your families, ties with your friends, encounters with strangers that impact you to the core, are all relationships.
When I was assigned this theme to write on, I questioned whether any of the notions about relationships are unquestionable. Let us dig deeper into these ‘relationships’.
The most absurd kind of confusion is between a choice and a necessity. Romantic associations are today seen as some inevitable requirement. In fact, one of the first questions asked by new people you meet is whether you are single. Also, if you are, there comes the biggest and most important question- WHY? The very assumption behind this ‘why’ is that you have either chosen or are forced to neglect a prerequisite to a happy and fulfilling life. Well, folks, it is not so. So, let us grow up and respect a person’s right to say no to commitment.
Let us unveil the foggy covers over our eyes put by the popular culture, and we will be up for a lot of epiphanies.
Where all our illusions start is our childhood. Yes, you read it right. Think about our beloved Disney movies or any other tale or movie for that matter. The ones those gave us unrealistic ideas, ideas of a fragile, lonely girl, who also happens to be pretty, and sometimes a bookworm too, who just needs that one prince charming to see what no one else saw, a prince who also happens to be handsome. Not to mention our favourite Bollywood hits that were dipped in patriarchy. The superheroes who never failed to rescue their damsels in distress are not far behind.
With all these ideas comes the peer pressure to be in a commitment-centred connection. This pressure, according to me, has the most adverse impact on the queers, the introverts, the different ones, and most importantly, on the ones who do not conform to the popularly accepted notions of beauty.
So let us start seeing relationships as they indeed are- bonds of love. That love may be for anybody, your parents, siblings, neighbours, classmates, or your partner. Moreover, it is time we begin to differentiate between necessity and pure choice, because not everyone wants, or is comfortable with popular notions of commitment.