If you go by the dictionary meaning of the word “Manipulate”, you would simply find -one who controls or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage on others. But, the practical meaning of manipulation is a bit manipulative itself.
The art of manipulation is not everybody’s shot of glass. Only the tricky ones know how to use people for self-purpose and fulfilment.
Here’s how you shall know the most common traits of recognising manipulative people:
#1: Might lack confidence, but never shows
Yes, you might not believe it but it’s absolutely true! For example-You and your friend are classmates. She wants to make an impression on the teacher although she is not a good student at all. Supposedly, one day, the teacher asks her a question regarding any topic. Here, you can watch her, she herself knows that she has no answer to this question but won’t ever show to the teacher. Instead, what she does, replies him with unlimited wrong answers until the teachers stop her. Her expression will be normal, a witty smile on her face but it’s one of the easiest ways to find out whether the person with you is among them.
#2: Never talks to the point, keeps moving around
Since they want to befool you, they will never give you assurance for what you ask. They have a tendency to say ‘Oh! Don’t worry about it.I will borrow this for you. ‘But, the day never comes. They won’t directly say you –NO, no to the point talk and give you a false hope instead.
#3: False appreciations
This is the best way they apply to others every time. You could easily notice this, they do this repeatedly. For example-Your friend wants to borrow a dress from you to wear it in a special function, So, she will start praising you even for any damn small activity that needs no appreciation! And, to your surprise, if you recall the change in her, you would find this false appreciation is taking place just a week before the function.
#4: Never take stand for their friends
In your difficult times, they won’t stand beside you. There might be people back biting you. You would find that your manipulative friend is also friends with them. And to your astonishment, she will be equally involved with them in this act. Since she needs to use them too and she finds them more useful than you. Definitely, according to her unfair mind, she will choose their friendship over yours. Also, she won’t support you in any new activity, will always have one or the other excuse ready for not doing it.
#5: Influencing through Facts
For Example: Lying. Excuse making. Double faced. Blaming the victim for causing their own victimisation. Misinterpreting the truth. Planned disclosure or withholding of key information. Exaggeration. Understatement. The one-sided bias of issue.
#6: Negative Humour Designed to Poke at Your Weaknesses and Disempower You
Some manipulators like to make critical remarks, often disguised as humour or sarcasm, to make you seem inferior and less secure. Examples can include any variety of comments ranging from your appearance to your background and credentials, to the fact that you walked in ten minutes late in class, you eat slowly. By making you look bad, and getting you to feel bad, in front of others the manipulator hopes to impose psychological superiority over you.
#7: Consistently Judge and Criticise You to Make You Feel wrong
Their basic mindset is to tarnish your image in others’ eyes. Distinct from the previous behaviour where negative humour is used as a cover, here the manipulator outright picks on you. By constantly ridiculing, and dismissing you, she or he keeps you off-balance and maintains her superiority. The aggressor deliberately fosters the impression that there’s always something wrong with you, and that no matter how hard you try, you are inadequate and will never be good enough. Significantly, the manipulator focuses on the negative without providing genuine and constructive solutions or offering meaningful ways to help.
#8: The Silent Treatment
By deliberately not responding to your reasonable calls, text messages, emails, or other inquiries, the manipulator presumes power by making you wait and intends to place doubt and uncertainty in your mind. The silent treatment is a head game where silence is used as a form of leverage.
#9: Zero acceptance for any wrongdoing
Although they know how they tried their level best to destruct you yet they will not be ready to accept their faults and mistakes. Instead, they will start bitching you. You try any tactic on them to ask for a sorry and correct them too but it will be of no use.
Observe the people that surround you and don’t let yourself be victimised.