Marriage: a Choice or a Goal?
Indian society has never been shy or lazy to fix weird and sometimes even amusing stereotypes and goals for making a girl the perfect Indian women. One of the bullet points among a thousand others in list of “how to be a perfect Indian women” is the criteria to get married and not just married of course but to a suitable guy at a suitable age.
We live in a society where people still believe a happily married daughter to be a status symbol. In a country like ours where parents consider their sons settled once he gets a job and that marriage is a secondary responsibility he needs to take on, but for a woman it’s her ultimate goal.
The ultimate reward she can get for all the qualities she can process and for all the luck and fortune she can have is to have a husband and raise a family. Now no one is saying that raising a family is wrong and that women who do are in any way less empowered. All we are saying is that even after all the education and freedom she was given and all the success she can achieve it is up to a man and a socially accepted ritual to give her the tag so she can fit in the so called idealistic view of our society.
There is nothing new for us to hear or sometimes even practice forcing women to stay in not only emotionally broken but sometimes even in abusive marriages just to retain the tag of the married women and of a reputed family in the society. Times of India a few months back published an article about famous women who faced domestic violence. The fact that they chose to step out of their houses and speak not only gave hopes and courage to a lot more who still suffer in silence but also slashed the myth that women stay in such marriages because of lack a of strong financial or educational background.
So why have we made such a simple and beautiful union a horror for not only the unmarried but also the married ones? Now before just like you do to the LGBT supporters’ start telling us that we are trying to break marriages and are pushing people away who wanna get married, let me make it clear .No one is saying marriage is wrong, all we are saying that it’s not a challenge.
Our country has made marriage a tag, a way of having kids that is socially accepted. But we think that a marriage is way more than just the wedding and what “should” happen only on the wedding night. It’s a journey to find a new self with someone; it’s a risk we take to be happy.
And yes we fail sometimes; soul mates don’t come with a matching tattoo.
Yes, it takes time sometimes; it’s not an online shopping delivery that’ll come on specific day and hour.
And last but not the least, some of us don’t wanna make this choice that does not make us revolutionary or gay/lesbian, may be they just don’t wanna share a room